The Land of Big Heat

There's this idea that a man who enjoys being sodomized by his female partner is just avoiding the fact he's actually gay and having a woman fuck him allows him to maintain separation from defining himself as gay.

Sure, that's possible. But let's look at it as something specific. Being sodomized by a woman wearing a strap-on can be a desire on its own. She isn't filling in for real cock. He doesn't want her fucking him because he's "afraid" to admit to himself he is in fact gay. He wants her fucking him because it's her fucking him.

So what about being in love? An act of love. It turns their fucking into something else entirely, an expression of value. How she wouldn't stick her cock in another guy because she and her man are bound by love. 
And really, love - being in love is the most powerful aphrodisiac.

Think about it. How different is it when you're deeply in love with him or her? How much stronger does it all feel? Physically, emotionally, it's a kind of pure liberation. You are both free to show your most intimate selves to one another, without fear of judgement. So yeah, there's nothing hotter than the love fuck.

But if it's not an exclusive relationship that doesn't mean there isn't emotional depth. Sure, you can say it's just a piece of rubber or latex that's strapped to her body.

But it's more. A woman I know said she feels a sense of power and responsibility when she looks down at her cock deep inside her man. She's trembles with pleasure. A leash is wrapped around her cock, the steel against his ass every time she slides all the way in, stretching him, opening him up.

The sight of that, his surrender, his begging for all of her inside him, it can be more than "play." It can be real meaning. It can be an act that gives each of them more of each other and more of themselves. They go round the entire 360 degrees of identity.

When he sucks her cock, you can again say, sure, it's just a fake cock in his mouth, down his throat. So why does she feel it so deeply, why does it make her gush and cum so easily?

Perhaps it's because the act shows them both they are free to give and receive from one another, to move beyond expectations and into real desire. In other words, he looks so fucking beautiful to her eyes when he's going down on her as she strokes his face, his neck, heat rising in her when she hears him gag on her cock, getting her off in waves of luscious heat.

So they aren't static or easily defined. They're moving, they're exploring and they're headed into the land of big heat.